Today I feel sad.

Sad because you wouldn't listen.
Sad because when i wanted to apologize and you didn't open the door.
Sad that I let my hot head get to me time and time again.
Sad that I threw the envelop at the door.
Sad that you posted something that might be referring to me.

Sad that if what you posted is referring to me... that you thought this was about money.
Sad that you think that I wouldn't give you money.

Maybe it's the hormones.
This weekend, I've done much but once i get home, I can feel the anger bubbling up. I feel so mad with you and your pride, and your attitude at times like this. I feel so fucking mad that tears keep falling and my heart keeps getting twisted into a huge knot. I want to just stab my heart with a stick and turn it the other way it's twisting. 

I'm so mad with you.
I'm so mad with you ever since I was 13.
But I love you more than my anger.

Sometimes i think the only good thing that came out of this family is my brother.

I remember the first time it happened, when there was all that yelling and screaming and breaking and shattering and crying.. so much crying. He went and yelled at them "do you want to see mei mei being so sad again?!" that made me cry even more and at that point in time I felt so grateful to him because I needed someone to lean on and he was the only one i could hold on to while the two pillars of my life were crumbling.

And every time they made him cry, I really hated them.
He never cried unless it was really really bad.

How could both of you stand to see him weep?