It seems like when I start pondering these issues, I start finding more voices that I've previously missed. This excerpt is taken from stories.sg (
link):
"...And my thoughts scare me because I am this close to being mediocre, by your standards.
I blame you to some extent. 17 years of school, 17 years of being
sifted about in your education net had been exhausting for me. It was
hard to remain in the top 10 percent, or perhaps even in the top 5
percent of the cohort, but it was harder to admit that the process was
tough. There are those who breeze through, climbing their way to the
top, and there are those, like me, who struggle to cling on to these
titles that you claim prestigious. It is dispiriting to feel average,
much less be average, and to keep up, we compete against one another.
After all, the “best” and the “worst” evolve from measurement, and
measurement is relative, never absolute. We never stop competing, never.
You taught us meritocracy and democracy — Big words that are often
more idealistic than real, contradictory than straightforward. I laugh
at anyone who believes that they are getting the fair deal. Nothing is
fair in this world and that is why these words contribute to an ideology
you badly want us to believe. To be fair (the irony!), efforts at
meritocracy seem to exist in corners of your dark streets, but there are
few since your streets are well-lit and cleanly-swept, as you proudly
proclaim and aggressively sell.
Meritocracy is at the mercy of bank rolls. Don’t we all already know
that? And while you profess yourself democratic, you hold on to our
freedom, too much of it. You said freedom is not a feature of Asian
culture, and too much of it is not desirable. You coax us, like
children, and tell us, like a parent, an “Asian” parent, that we must be
grateful of what you have provided for us.
You almost had me convinced there. All I needed to do was listen
while you rattled on about history — your side of history — and how we
changed from a poor and developing nation into a more developed and
economically-strong one. The trouble is, I am not too s ure what
constitute “Asian” because Asia is so diverse. At times you appear to be
more liberal and receptive to Western influences, and at times, you
hold on dearly to your so-called “Asian” roots which, you tell us
(again), lean towards the conservative.
Your sacrifice for us was undeniable, but a well-developed people is
not just about dollars and cents, a HDB flat, and babies. It is about
the intangible. It is the magnanimity to embrace, not merely tolerate,
difference, the willingness to release your grip and allow us to breathe
so we can be the artist or musician that we may aspire to be. It is
about allowing us to dream the dream that you so often brush aside as
impractical. But dreams are themselves often illogical, aren’t they. It
is about cutting us some slack and allowing us to fall and climb back,
stronger and better than before.
You claim you have our best interests at heart but something must be
wrong when so many of them are not coming back. It is not in the
leaving, but the returning. You attempt to lure them back with promises
of wealth, the same tactic you used on married couples to entice them to
deliver babies, but it is not really working. Something must be wrong.
I am afraid because I cannot leave. I have decided to end my formal
education and to start shouldering family responsibilities. Like the
good filial “Asian” child, I must provide for my parents. I cannot take
off and leave everything behind. That is why I am here instead of
exploring the world, at my own time and pace. I’ve always missed you
when I am away. I was even proud of you. You are Home to me after all,
but I am afraid I will remain here forever, in the same cubicle you find
in every office. Forever is extremely apt, I must add.
I am afraid I will unlearn creativity and learn to get by.
Creativity is hard to come by when you have a tendency to tell us what
we must do. The morning coffee and clinkin g of metal spoons against
ceramic mugs, against incessant sounds of typing on keyboards and
stapling of documents, threaten my zealousness and I am afraid. I am
afraid of having my unrealistic and beautiful dreams cast aside because
they are irrelevant to your economy. I am not merely a tool in your
large development project; I don’t want to take calculated moves all the
time and be told when the right time to be silly is and when it is not.
I want to be a being who can be impractical and foolish at the snap of
her fingers.
Leave me room to be foolhardy, once in a while, because it will delight me so."
I'm worried about the future of our country. I'm worried about the future generation.
It's like putting them through a storm, only for them to come out on the safe side being thrown into yet another one. How is this fair? How is it that we are put through the same system only for a certain % to go through? How is it fair that not everyone is given a chance to learn (not in the go to the lib and pick up a book sense ok)? How is it fair that society bases our self-worth on the grades we get?
I understand all the flaws in what I have said above (GETTING LATE!! NEED TO ZZZ) but my underlying point is that, even if we can't do well academically in areas that are helpful to the economy, we should be encouraged to strive in other areas.
